When I was younger, I always had friends. Almost everyone is your friend when you are little. Then you get a little older, kids become less nice; you become more unforgiving; and you get fewer friends. When I was younger, my best friends were mostly guys. I got along better with them. I saw girls as sort of mean. And so, I got along better with the laid back guys. But then..... all of a sudden.... I became older (NO WAY!!!! I actually got older.... I know it's hard to believe.... Anyways!) and it was suddenly awkward to have a guy as your closest friend. It became awkward for both sides. So although I am still friends with him, it isn't the same as it used to be. We sort of drifted apart a little bit. Although, we will always be dear friends. :)
So, after that, I was left at what you might call "friendless". My closest friend and the only person I felt like I could talk to about life with was someone who I always fought with. And then.. I got this longing for a friend.. like a really strong one. Not just like a friend. But a close friend. A very good friend. Someone I could be myself around and be totally open and honest with. And someone who would be able to do the same with me. I know some people call that kind of friend a best friend, but I don't really use the term.
So, along came a girl. And I guess it was probably a "finally!!" moment for me. This was what I wanted and now there was someone it might be possible with. I gave this friend everything. She could know anything and everything she wanted about me. But. Something was not right... it seemed one-sided... It seemed like I cared and showed it.. and she cared but didn't show it. We'd have a problem. I'd try to explain so we could fix it. It never worked. There were times when I was hurt. Very badly hurt. And finally.... after trying and trying and trying and telling myself that I wasn't going to give up...... I decided that I couldn't go on with her being my closest friend. IT wasn't working....
Talk about a first failure... my first real try at a real teenager friendship and it got washed down the gutter.
I know that I wasn't perfect at all in that friendship. I am still learning how to be a better friend. And that time I failed. Now, I had to pick myself up... and try again....
I just don't get it. Why can't there be such a thing as a best friend forever? I mean... I look and hear about that stuff.... and I'm like- FOREVER?!?!? (Well...... sort of...) Just... it's sort of unbelievable. Now, I believe there can be such a thing as a best friend forever... they are just so so so rare.
So, a little advice if you want to have a forever friendship with someone.
1. Keep it healthy.
Don't let it be one-sided. Keep up your side of the friendship. Don't just gain from the friendship. Give to the friendship.
2. Be faithful.
Don't leave this person. Don't go find someone else who you think is "better". Like seriously people... If you want a friend forever, You got to be there for them forever.
Don't become frustrated, angry, etc. and let it build up in you. Instead, explain what's bothering you to the person. Also, make sure this person knows that you care about them, love them, and appreciate them. Build them up with your words. Don't tear them down.
4. Don't gossip
Don't gossip about your friend behind their back. That's being unfaithful too. They trust you. Don't do that.
5. Let the Lord be in the center of your friendship
"And a threefold cord is not quickly broken." -Ecclesiastes 4:12b (NKJV)
Friends can be forever. But you have to treat them like you want them forever.
Let me know your thoughts on the subject. And let me know if you have any other pieces of advice for keeping a forever friend. :)
"If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me."-Unknown