Sometimes life throws us curveballs... Or we throw them for ourselves.
Ever since I was about 7 years old, I wanted to be a doctor/nurse. For ten whole years, that was my plan.
Fast fact about me- I love foundation. Solid things. Things that don't change. I like seeing the future clearly. So, when nursing finally wasn't setting right with me, I hesitated. I didn't want to swipe my slate clean and just up and "change my major". Plus, everyone knew I wanted to be a nurse. Everyone knew I was going to medical school. It began to feel like a burden. I wrestled with it. I didn't want to give it up even though it was causing me stress and frustration. Then, one day I had a little peace about the idea of giving it up. This caused my vision to blur. If not nursing, than what?
Then I got the phone call. This young man called me to ask me some questions and try to see if I wanted to join the program he worked for. He asked me what I wanted to study. I opened up and said my vision was really blurred. He said that could be a good thing. He asked me questions that made it clear to me that I was not meant to be a nurse. So... I changed my major. I knew I needed to work with people. I needed to help people. He recommended a major in Leadership and Management and a minor/major in Counseling. Wow... So very different from nursing. But it sat well with me...
Now, am I 100% sure that I am going to major in Leadership and Management and minor/major in Counseling? No! But I believe God has shut one door and opened another. Now, I don't have to go away to school like I was planning to. I can live at home and go to school online and graduate at the college of my choice faster, on my own schedule, and cheaper while working as much as I want. I am very thankful to God for opening my heart to other possibilities.
Now, I was also in a "relationship". Not officially or anything... But we both knew we really liked each other, and we wanted to court. He was even planning to ask my dad to court me this past June. It was nice being able to "see the future" in that area of my life. But then it happened..... I took this guy on the roller coaster of my changing feelings. I didn't want to keep dragging him on that. The end goal wasn't sitting right with me. Maybe he wasn't really the guy for me... So I let him go. Yes, I hurt him. A lot. But I only did what I did to avoid him future pain and to allow him to move on with his life. That was and still is one of the most painful things I have ever done.
There you have it. Two of the biggest things I thought were set for my life changed in a short period. So now I "don't have the guy". And maybe I don't have the major set either..
But that's okay, because I do not need to be in control of it. God does. And if He is in control, it does not matter if I can see the future clearly or not. Right now, He has me right where He wants me.