Thursday, September 17, 2015

Sometimes life throws us curveballs... Or we throw them for ourselves.
Ever since I was about 7 years old, I wanted to be a doctor/nurse. For ten whole years, that was my plan.
Fast fact about me- I love foundation. Solid things. Things that don't change. I like seeing the future clearly. So, when nursing finally wasn't setting right with me, I hesitated. I didn't want to swipe my slate clean and just up and "change my major". Plus, everyone knew I wanted to be a nurse. Everyone knew I was going to medical school. It began to feel like a burden. I wrestled with it. I didn't want to give it up even though it was causing me stress and frustration. Then, one day I had a little peace about the idea of giving it up. This caused my vision to blur. If not nursing, than what?
Then I got the phone call. This young man called me to ask me some questions and try to see if I wanted to join the program he worked for. He asked me what I wanted to study. I opened up and said my vision was really blurred. He said that could be a good thing. He asked me questions that made it clear to me that I was not meant to be a nurse. So... I changed my major. I knew I needed to work with people. I needed to help people. He recommended a major in Leadership and Management and a minor/major in Counseling. Wow... So very different from nursing. But it sat well with me...
Now, am I 100% sure that I am going to major in Leadership and Management and minor/major in Counseling? No! But I believe God has shut one door and opened another. Now, I don't have to go away to school like I was planning to. I can live at home and go to school online and graduate at the college of my choice faster, on my own schedule, and cheaper while working as much as I want. I am very thankful to God for opening my heart to other possibilities.

Now, I was also in a "relationship". Not officially or anything... But we both knew we really liked each other, and we wanted to court. He was even planning to ask my dad to court me this past June. It was nice being able to "see the future" in that area of my life. But then it happened..... I took this guy on the roller coaster of my changing feelings. I didn't want to keep dragging him on that. The end goal wasn't sitting right with me. Maybe he wasn't really the guy for me... So I let him go. Yes, I hurt him. A lot. But I only did what I did to avoid him future pain and to allow him to move on with his life. That was and still is one of the most painful things I have ever done.

There you have it. Two of the biggest things I thought were set for my life changed in a short period. So now I "don't have the guy". And maybe I don't have the major set either..
But that's okay, because I do not need to be in control of it. God does. And if He is in control, it does not matter if I can see the future clearly or not. Right now, He has me right where He wants me.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Aim Leadership Conference 2015

I just got home from a leadership conference with Aim. A few of us from the team in California went to join others up in Wyoming. Here is a little of what I learned.. We will also post more on our team website. Please check out the blog on our website. You can find our website HERE.


      Oftentimes, God takes something small and seemingly insignificant and turns it into something hugely important. I did not really have expectations going for this trip. Sure, I was looking forward to taking some time off of "real" life and going to spend time with some pretty awesome people, but honestly, I wasn't really expecting anything great, anything significant. Thankfully, God has other plans. I would not even say He greatly used the group devotions and sessions to work in me. He used something outside of those things to work.
      Let me be honest, I feel like one of those Christians that is a half-fake. Sure, I'm saved, love Jesus, and want to serve Him. But in the here and now, I am not very dedicated to Him.
I am not very dedicated to Him.
I do not love Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.
I do not keep up with my daily devotions and prayer times.
I do not find myself even really growing in my faith.
Honestly, I feel like I am kind of in a scary spot. Yet, knowing all this, my heart was hard. Again, I found myself in dire need of full surrender. The same place I found myself back at the 2013 Leadership Conference.
      The first morning in Wyoming, Brooke, Katie, and I woke up early and went outside for devotions. I had not done that in, well, way too long. I started out reading one of my favorite Bible passages. Then I "forced" myself to journal. All of a sudden, a plea/prayer to God came out. It touched me and softened my heart. Yes, I still have a long way to go before full surrender again, but God was able to start the work in my heart this week through something as small as journaling. He spoke to me through the journaling in such a powerful way.

"Lord, lead me to the place where all I want is you... Where I love You more than myself, my needs, my friends... Lead me to the place of surrender yet again... Help me to be able to stand with arms lifted up fully Yours again... Please lead me to that place... The place of peace and rest..."

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Loving Others- A Job we are all called to

Frustrated and a little offended, I walked away from a family sitting at the table tucked in the corner of the small family restaurant I work at. I walked up to one of the other girls that works there and said something like- "I hate when people make you feel like crap. I'm a person just like them! I'm not being paid to be treated like crap."
Sometimes I'll go to a table and cheerfully say- "Hello! How are you doing today?" To which the reply is sometimes "..." What's worse is when your boss gets on you making you eat humble pie. (But when that happens, you know she is really the sweetest person and is just having a moment.) But honestly, people can be so hard to care for. So hard to love. God calls us to love everyone. Even the people that treat us like dirt. The people that somehow missed the part where you are as human as they are. Other people are really pretty easy to love.. Like the couple that regularly comes into the restaurant. They are very friendly and caring.

Many people think that if you become a Christian, you will have an easy life. Haha. Nope! Not how it works. When someone becomes a Christian, they are called to be more. They are called to love those grumpy people that treat them like dirt. They are called to love that friendly couple. It doesn't matter who it is- they are still called to love them. I am still called to love them.

And believe me.. This definitely has not been easy for me. Yeah, some people are easy for me to love. But if someone hurts my pride and causes me to eat humble pie, I will put up a fight. No, I do not really care to care about them. But I know that isn't the godly approach. I want to encourage you all to love all those around you, because as a Christian, that's the job you have been called to. We can not do this in our own strength.. We must ask God to help us. That is the only way we will succeed. So, what are you waiting for?? You got a job to do! Ask for God to help you. Go love others. Go love everyone.

Friday, June 5, 2015

I'm a Senior Now?

I have been consistently bad about posting on here.. I meant to post last month, but I just never got around to it (if that wasn't obvious ;-P).
I've been staying pretty busy. It has finally been winding down around here. I still am working some. But... Aim is almost done for the summer. I also have finished 11th grade. So, that technically makes me a senior, right? I am super excited about this coming school year. But maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself.. Haha. 
I have been working on my summer plans. I was originally hoping to go on a missions trip for like a month or so. But that didn't work out. Instead, it looks like I will be in town for most (if not all) of the summer. Hopefully, I will be able to use my time productively.
Here's kinda what I'm looking at for this summer:
  • Study for SAT test this fall
  • Put together a reading list
  • Follow the reading list
  • Finish my college list
  • Start working on college application stuffs
  • Be a little more social ;-)
  • Etc.
Also, I may (huge *may* here) take a trip to another state this summer. Maybe. We will see if the Lord keeps that door open.

What are you guys doing this summer? I hope you are able to do some productive and fun things! :-)

I have like three other blog drafts.. We will see when I get to them. Maybe I can post them all soon. 
Well, so long for now!

Have a blessed week!!! :-)

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Movie Night Fundraiser

Hello!
As you probably know, I am apart of Aim (aimsandiego.org). In case you don't know what Aim is, Aim is a family that trains young people to follow Jesus. We also share the gospel with people through mime and drama.
Aim has a fundraiser coming up, and I would love to see you there! We are showing a movie called Mercy Rule. If you haven't heard of it, Mercy Rule is a movie that was put out last year by Kirk Cameron. It is a family movie starring Tim Hawkins. Below are more details:
When: Saturday, April 25th
Doors open: 5:45 pm
Movie starts: 6:00 pm
Where: Grace Brethren Church (3455 Atlas Street, San Diego, CA 92111)
Price: $7 per person presale, $8 at the door. $25 family (immediate family only) presale, $30 at the door. Children 3 and under are free.
Concessions will be available. We will also be having a raffle.

I would love to see you there!! If you have any questions, please let me know. I will also be selling tickets.

Thank you and God bless!

Friday, March 27, 2015

God at Work

The Lord has been showing me so much lately..
Recently, I have gone through a time of extreme spiritual dryness. Even being on a missions trip didn't seem to help me through that dryness. I felt like it would really help. Yes, maybe it did help. But when I got home, that is when I started to feel God really working in me. I guess the missions trip was kind of like a push in that direction.
I thought I would share some of the things I wrote in my journal from the missions trip to coming home, etc... I think it will best show what was going on in me during the missions trip and coming home.
2/3: Why do I keep pushing God away?
2/10: Coming back has been very hard.
2/18: God is working in me. I can feel it. A growing desire to be in His Word and surrender myself to Him. Again.

After I felt God was really working in me, He started to show me certain things..
2/24: I was thinking last night and I believe God put this on my heart: What kind of older sister would I want? Am I being that kind of older sister to my sisters? I was convicted. I could be so much better as an older sister.
3/15: Am I being the kind of daughter I would want to have?

That was a lot of what was going on inside of me. I found that if I look at who I am as a sister and a daughter and what I would want in an older sister and daughter, I could see that I am nothing close to that.
 There were other instances that I could see God at work in my life. It has been so encouraging and wonderful to see.
I just wanted to share a few of those things with you guys.

Also, below are some "nature" pictures from the missions trip.









Friday, February 27, 2015

Aim Missions Trip Winter 2015

It's been such a long time since I posted! The last time I posted, I hadn't gone on the missions trip with Aim.

The missions trip went really well! Doors were opened- Hopefully, a team will be started in San Jose. We also were able to visit a couple teams and teach them some of our songs.

There were 8 of us total on the trip. Three of the people on the team were from Pennsylvania. The rest of us are on the Aim San Diego team. Having people from two different states come together and work together was such an awesome thing to see. The unity between everyone even though some of us had just met was something God definitely worked out. Even the love for each other and the vulnerability we showed was amazing. Talking about it gets me all excited.

But now, we are all at home. It's been almost a month since we came home. It has been really hard for me to adjust back into "normal" life. All these amazing people that I got close to are either back in Pennsylvania or in San Diego somewhere living their lives. Yeah, I live in San Diego, but even not being able to see them very often is hard after being with them everyday almost 24/7 for two weeks..

On this trip, I wasn't a leader. It was so different. The hardest part about this was not knowing beforehand that this was happening. I guess my inexperience of missions trips didn't help in my thinking that I wouldn't be.. But the day we started, I found out. I also found out that this other girl was supposed to pour into my life. That is hard because I am the type that likes to pour into others. It is hard for me to let others pour into me. This is something I can definitely work on. Anyways, the girl who the leader put to pour into me was amazing, and we became friends pretty fast. I wish we would have had more time to talk and stuffs. Although, we did stay up super late (or early) the night we got back to just talk. :-)

The car rides were kind of one of the best parts. All 8 of us were stuffed with all our things into an 8-seater car. I was sitting in the back with two very outgoing girls. We laughed. A lot. They even came up with their own funny language or whatever. It was quite the experience. The three that sat in the middle of the car were pretty quiet and introverted. The contrast between the bunch in the back of the car and the middle was very funny.

As some of you may know, I am the outgoing introvert. I love people. People are fun to be with. People make me happy. I love serving and working with people. But it wears me out. I need alone time to reenergize. The thing about this trip was, if you were an introvert, you didn't really get any introvert reenergizing time. So dealing with that and the other things going on in my life (including getting sick and working through some relationship problems from back home while on the trip, etc.), it was hard not to get grumpy and moody. God really worked in me and helped me in this area. I couldn't be all grumpy and moody towards everyone just because I wasn't have a great day. Even though things were going on, I couldn't let them affect the way I treated others. It was a good reminder.

One of the most amazing things for me on this trip was the love God gave me for my fellow teammates. It was amazing. He gave me a love that I could tell wasn't my own. It had to have been His. Also, being open with others was cool. I had good conversations with some of the girls on the team. It was nice hearing them be open, getting to know them better, and hopefully, being able to encourage them in some way.

This trip was very cool/amazing/exciting/busy/etc. If you want to hear more about the trip, feel free to check out the blog on Aim's website (aimsandiego.org). I was able to post on there almost every day. There are also pictures on there.

Thanks for reading and have a blessed weekend!!! :-)

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Aim Missions Trip 2015

Hey guys!
So I decided I should probably post and tell you what's been up and all lately.
I decided to go on a missions trip with Aim, the mime team. We will be traveling up the coast of California and back down. Because of this, we trained all day Wednesday and Thursday and half of Friday. Today, we had a service project. And tomorrow, we hit the road after a presentation. We will be heading to San Franciso first. 
I would appreciate all of your prayers for the team's health, safety, strength, and relationship with the Lord. 
I will be blogging about the trip on Aim's website. Please sign up for the email updates if you wish to stay updated with everything we are doing. You can go to the website (aimsandiego.org) and go to the blog page. From there, you should be  able to fill out a form from one of the posts. This will sign you up for the updates. 
Well, thanks for reading this post. Have an amazingly blessed week!!
God bless!!